Dreams

I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. Well mini dreams I should say since I don’t sleep long at all. They are either about people from my childhood who have had children recently. I might add that these people grew up in the same small town as I did but are about 5 – 8 years younger than me and I haven’t talked to them in years. I still keep in touch with their parents and know about their lives through their parents, my parents or Facebook. Stupid dreams about them being parents now. Nothing significant happents. I don’t even think I have any interaction with them in the dreams or that I am actually part of the dream, it’s more like I am a fly on the wall. The other thing I dream about is the books I am reading. As I said, I don’t sleep much and I fall asleep reading my book about 5 different times a night. I dream of the characters in the book and make up the next part of the story. Then I wake up and have to read on to find out what is really going on.

I must say that both types of dreams are driving me nuts. I just want one peaceful night of uninterrupted blissful sleep. I guess this baby is trying to prepare me for what life will be like when he/she comes out.

Before I forget...

Last week while out celebrating our anniversary, my husband and I started talking about all the things that had happened to us in the past year. It is just about a year to the date that we first went to the doctor to discuss infertility. While I thought I would remember everything about this year and particularly about this pregnancy, I was surprised that we both had forgotten things. I don’t know if you put them out of your head because there is so much going on or that it’s easier to move forward if you aren’t constantly looking back. However, I do think it is amazing that we’ve put my body through so much and it’s still ticking and that my husband has become quite the nurse. The first time we sat in the doctor’s office he flat out said that he could not give me any injections. He hates needles and blood and I respected and accepted his decision. I wasn’t going to pressure him. However, for some reason he changed his mind immediately. I am so thankful because I gave myself a few shots and while it wasn’t horrible, it is so much better when someone else does it.



That being said, I’m going to try to go back in the next few weeks and capture some of those memories before I forget them. I’ve written a ton of blogs in my head late at night when I can’t sleep but I can’t seem to get pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). Hopefully I will start doing a better job!

Happy Anniversary

August 19, 2006, four years ago today, I married the love of my life. The last four years have brought about a myriad of changes and obstacles but we have survived them all and I feel that we are in a good place. I feel so lucky and fortunate to be where I am today and am so thankful to my husband for standing by my side. We have been through so much, while infertility is a part of it, it is not everything. Not by a long shot.  Thank you my dear husband for believing in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. Thank you for loving me. I look forward to many, many more years together.

Making Progress and Feeling Stuck

We’ve made progress…we bought a car seat, a stroller and a portable changing pad. I know it might not sound like much but to us it was. We have been so afraid to buy anything for fear that something would go wrong. We didn’t really plan on buying anything but I wanted to go and check out a coupe of stores to see what was available over here. There isn’t a big Babies R US or Target that I know I can get things from so I was getting a little worried that we would need something in a hurry and we wouldn’t know where to go. Plus there are sales here in August and I wanted to see when they ended so we could take advantage of them.

I think my husband and I both feel strange about buying these things. As I said, we still can’t believe that this is all happening. It’s strange, you try for something for so long, hope and pray for it, picture yourself as a parent and then when the time is getting close and it looks like you might actually make it, you can’t picture it any more. I don’t know how to describe the feeling. I do feel excited but a strange excitement, like I’m living in someone else’s body. I am afraid to get attached to this baby out of fear. My mom called today and told me that my brother and sister in law are already picking out names for their child who isn’t due till the end of January. She said this is normal. She can’t understand that we don’t feel comfortable doing the same. Our baby should be arriving in the next 3 – 6 weeks and we don’t have names. We had a girls first name picked out for our first pregnancy (that baby would be 3 next month) but I don’t know if we should/are going to use it or not. We have no boys names and we haven’t even talked about having middle names or not. They don’t use them over here but we do in the States. We said last week that we would start thinking about it after our next appointment, next week, at week 30. This has been the story throughout our pregnancy, things we are scared to do we say we will do it after the next appointment, then when that appointment comes and goes we say the same thing over and over. Is this normal for a couple who has struggled and lost other babies?

28 week update

We made it to 28 weeks!!!

We went to the doctor again yesterday and all looks well. She thinks we will make it to 32 weeks and probably deliever before October 2nd which is just onver 35 weeks. Not too too bad.

The baby has turned around and is no longer breech, hopefully it will stay that way. There are a couple of ultrasound pictures from yesterday that you might find entertaining. The kid looks like a pretzel. One foot and hand under its chin, the other leg straight down and bent at the knee and the other arm was straight down I think. We didn’t' get a good look at it.

We are very happy to have made it this far and are thankful for each day this little one stays put. I have permission to work for another 2 weeks which is amazing.

Here are the latest stats:
Baby:
Heartbeat: 150 bpm
Weight 1150 grams +/-77 grams (47 percentile)
aka 40.5 ounces (2.5 pounds) +/-2.7 ounces
Weight gain since last appointment 2 weeks ago - 300 grams (10.5 ounces)

Head Measurement 25.9 cm (28w0d)
Abdominal Circumference 23.2 cm (27w3d)
Femur Length 5.25 cm (28w0d)
My weight gain since appointment 2 weeks ago - .7 kg (1.5 pounds)

A Conception Story on TLC

I just found this online and thought you might find it interesting. 

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/a-conception-story/

It follows 6 women who are trying to get pregnant.  From what I can see, 2 belong with us Infertiles, Amber and Mary.  My heart breaks for them and once again reminds me of the journey we have been on and to be thankful that I am where I am now. It took four long years but I'm hear, 28 weeks pregnant.  Still doesn't feel real.  Going to the doctors in a couple of hours so hopefully I will have good news to report tomorrow.

First IVF baby has baby

I am so thankful to her parents and doctors and how far technology has come since 1981.  So hard to believe that if my parents had trouble conceiving me in 1975, IVF wouldn't have been an option.

I especially like the quote in the video when she says there is no way to thank the doctors who gave her life.  I feel the same about my doctor.  How do you thank these miracle workers?  I hope that my baby knows how special he/she is just as Elizabeth does.

http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2010/08/06/a_first_for_the_first/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7