Making Progress and Feeling Stuck

We’ve made progress…we bought a car seat, a stroller and a portable changing pad. I know it might not sound like much but to us it was. We have been so afraid to buy anything for fear that something would go wrong. We didn’t really plan on buying anything but I wanted to go and check out a coupe of stores to see what was available over here. There isn’t a big Babies R US or Target that I know I can get things from so I was getting a little worried that we would need something in a hurry and we wouldn’t know where to go. Plus there are sales here in August and I wanted to see when they ended so we could take advantage of them.

I think my husband and I both feel strange about buying these things. As I said, we still can’t believe that this is all happening. It’s strange, you try for something for so long, hope and pray for it, picture yourself as a parent and then when the time is getting close and it looks like you might actually make it, you can’t picture it any more. I don’t know how to describe the feeling. I do feel excited but a strange excitement, like I’m living in someone else’s body. I am afraid to get attached to this baby out of fear. My mom called today and told me that my brother and sister in law are already picking out names for their child who isn’t due till the end of January. She said this is normal. She can’t understand that we don’t feel comfortable doing the same. Our baby should be arriving in the next 3 – 6 weeks and we don’t have names. We had a girls first name picked out for our first pregnancy (that baby would be 3 next month) but I don’t know if we should/are going to use it or not. We have no boys names and we haven’t even talked about having middle names or not. They don’t use them over here but we do in the States. We said last week that we would start thinking about it after our next appointment, next week, at week 30. This has been the story throughout our pregnancy, things we are scared to do we say we will do it after the next appointment, then when that appointment comes and goes we say the same thing over and over. Is this normal for a couple who has struggled and lost other babies?

28 week update

We made it to 28 weeks!!!

We went to the doctor again yesterday and all looks well. She thinks we will make it to 32 weeks and probably deliever before October 2nd which is just onver 35 weeks. Not too too bad.

The baby has turned around and is no longer breech, hopefully it will stay that way. There are a couple of ultrasound pictures from yesterday that you might find entertaining. The kid looks like a pretzel. One foot and hand under its chin, the other leg straight down and bent at the knee and the other arm was straight down I think. We didn’t' get a good look at it.

We are very happy to have made it this far and are thankful for each day this little one stays put. I have permission to work for another 2 weeks which is amazing.

Here are the latest stats:
Baby:
Heartbeat: 150 bpm
Weight 1150 grams +/-77 grams (47 percentile)
aka 40.5 ounces (2.5 pounds) +/-2.7 ounces
Weight gain since last appointment 2 weeks ago - 300 grams (10.5 ounces)

Head Measurement 25.9 cm (28w0d)
Abdominal Circumference 23.2 cm (27w3d)
Femur Length 5.25 cm (28w0d)
My weight gain since appointment 2 weeks ago - .7 kg (1.5 pounds)

A Conception Story on TLC

I just found this online and thought you might find it interesting. 

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/a-conception-story/

It follows 6 women who are trying to get pregnant.  From what I can see, 2 belong with us Infertiles, Amber and Mary.  My heart breaks for them and once again reminds me of the journey we have been on and to be thankful that I am where I am now. It took four long years but I'm hear, 28 weeks pregnant.  Still doesn't feel real.  Going to the doctors in a couple of hours so hopefully I will have good news to report tomorrow.

First IVF baby has baby

I am so thankful to her parents and doctors and how far technology has come since 1981.  So hard to believe that if my parents had trouble conceiving me in 1975, IVF wouldn't have been an option.

I especially like the quote in the video when she says there is no way to thank the doctors who gave her life.  I feel the same about my doctor.  How do you thank these miracle workers?  I hope that my baby knows how special he/she is just as Elizabeth does.

http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2010/08/06/a_first_for_the_first/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7

23 week ultrasound pictures

Here are a couple of pictues from our 23 week ultrasound.  The first one is kind of a wierd angle so I've included descriptions. We didn't get any good pictures at the 24 week photo session.  Hopefully we will have more cooperation for week 26.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.  We're headed to the beach, it will be good to get some relief from this heat.

24 Weeks!!!

24 weeks today. A milestone in my mind though I keep telling myself I will not celebrate milestones anymore because when I do, something seems to happen that puts me back in my place. At any rate, I feel happy. Happy to be at week 24 where if god forbid something happened out little one would still have a chance, happy that I finally slept through the night (I should add that my new standard of sleeping through the night means I didn’t get up to go to the bathroom and when I did wake up to roll over, I didn’t start reading but went back to sleep), happy that I don’t have the sharp knife like pain in my lower abdomen as bad as I did the last two days and very happy that my husband was able to feel our little one doing somersaults for quite awhile this morning (previously he has just felt an odd movement here or there, this was a full on show.)


Other than that, here’s a run down of things at this stage.

Uterus – a little off center, you can really see it if I lay on my back, the left side is fairly flat. When I’m standing it looks fairly normal. I’m curious to see what it will do as I get bigger.

Beach – We got a place at the beach for the summer. It took me about 2 months to get over my fear but I finally get in and stand in the water. The doctor told me I wasn’t allowed to swim, just stand. It feels good, takes pressure off my stomach and boobs.

Boobs – I think they may have grown again. The left one is now much larger than the right and I have this really weird vein on the side of my left one. It is gross!

Varicose Veins - Noticed a couple on my ankle the other day. Again, gross. Don’t want to search for any others, I’m afraid of what I will find.

Appetite – Fairly non existent. No real aversions or cravings but nothing really sounds good. Could be the heat, the summers are really hot over here!

Utrogesterone (progesterone) – The doctor told me I could start taking them only at night now but I’m scared to stop. I had the same problem when she told me to go to twice a day. When I start feeling better I will stop. I know it won’t hurt me or the baby to continue but I know I need to stop too. They are disguising too so it will be good to stop sticking my fingers up my hooha every morning.

Baby – He/she is moving quite a bit. I’m not sure if there is schedule or not like I keep reading about but I definitely feel him/her when I get up, try to go to sleep and while I’m at work. I can also tell when he/she is high or low in my uterus. High is much better.  Low is painful.

Husband – Taking good care of me, I feel bad that so much has been put on him because of this pregnancy. He has been so good to me.

Baby gear/names – We are still too scared to go there, maybe after our next appointment at 26 weeks, though we say that after each appointment. Were just afraid to jinx ourselves.

Good luck to everyone out there trying to get pregnant or pregnant. I know it is a long, hard emotional struggle.  I hope that by reading my blog and others you will know that you are not alone.

22/23 week update

Our 22 and 23 week appointments went well. The baby is on target and still has room to move in my unicorn uterus which is good. It weighs about 20 ounces now which is in the 54 percentile. The only thing we are a little concerned about is that our 22 week super ultrasound showed a small mark on the baby’s heart that increases our risk of down syndrome by 10% but our odds are still low. I think our chances now are 1 in 836 which isn’t too big. We’ll just continue to pray for a healthy baby. The doctor thinks I’m going to make it to 32 weeks at least :)

Does anyone else have horrible hip pain when they sleep? I now wake up from the pain and not to pee (though once I’m up to move positions, I head to the bathroom as well). As the doctor told me, I only lay on my sides and it feels like an elephant is sitting on my hip. I have a body pillow but that doesn’t seem to provide much relief. Any suggestions? Anyone going through the same thing?